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The Dugout: St. Louis Cardinals Spring Training 2011

The contract situation with Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals has progressed to the point that nothing happening is being reported as news. Albert wants $300 million over ten years to put him ahead of Alex Rodriguez, and he deserves it, but the Alex Rodriguez contract was stupid and nobody with a functioning brain...

The Dugout: Holiday Cards

The St. Louis Cardinals are waiting too long to break up with Albert Pujols. They shouldn't. He's a catch, a great guy. Easily the best boyfriend they've had since Ozzie Smith. But sometimes a relationship being too good makes it boring, and you've got to cut ties with the easy thing and go spend your money on the...

The Dugout: The Doom and Gloom of Felipe Lopez

The Cardinals announced shortly before Tuesday's game that they had released veteran infielder Felipe Lopez, hours after manager Tony La Russa told reporters Lopez had been sent home from Pittsburgh and wouldn't be playing again this season. The story, if you piece it together by googling "Felipe Lopez released," is that...

The Dugout: Restoring Honor

Albert Pujols has truly lived a blessed life. He was given an amazing prowess for baseball by our Creator. He has won the World Series. And now, he's been given a Star Wars-like giant medal by a politically-aggressive talk show host! Today's Dugout will be a recap of Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally from this weekend....

The Dugout: Pujols and La Russa Are Getting Divorced

Over in St. Louis (which for today's Dugout looks a lot like Wilmington, North Carolina), manager Tony La Russa and Dr. Manhattan Albert Pujols are having trouble getting along. Albert wants to bat, but Tony keeps sending runners and ending innings before he gets a chance to. They both care too much. La Russa calls the...