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The Dugout: Practice Batting or Die Trying

I am a lowly writer of niche comedy sports on the Internet, so don't take anything I say with any kind of serious salt. That being said, I know for a fact that the New York Mets hired Shemp Howard as their trainer and that nobody on that side of the city knows anything about health, athletics, or kindness. The Mets just...

The Dugout: LIMA

Time keeps going about its business. People who are funny jokes to us in the Dugout aren't supposed to die, they're supposed to keep being funny and live out their lives as rich spoiled steroid millionaires. They aren't supposed to die at age 37, when nobody should die. A human being is the only animal on the Earth who...

The Dugout: Omar Badness

If you've been following the long, strange trip of the New York Mets this season, you know what a tangled, complicated world the front offices of Major League Baseball can be. You understand the frustrations, the egos, the outbursts, and the Machiavellian maneuvering. If you haven't been following the Mets, let me catch...

The Dugout: The Most Even Trade Ever

As we reported on Friday, the Braves traded an under-performing outfielder, Jeff Francoeur, to the Mets for an under-performing outfielder, Ryan Church. My theory? The general managers were just bored. Saturday's Dugout is after the jump. The Dugout **OnlineHost**...

Beware the Dugouts of March: The New York Mets' 2009 Preview

...step right up and EAT the Mets!Earlier today, blogsmith Dan Graziano (Dugout screen name: LeavesOfGraz) web logged about visiting Citi Field, the new home of the New York Mets, and reported back that all of the stadium's food is limp-wristed in nature. Excuse me, "limp-wristed in nurture." But no, the food has a...