Brits Rage Against Simon Cowell's Hit Machine

LONDON (Dec. 21) -- Christmas songs are normally sedate, soppy affairs crooned by the likes of Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis and Mariah Carey. But on Sunday, Britain added an explicit, anarchic new anthem to the Xmas canon: Rage Against the Machine's 1992 rap-metal hit "Killing in the Name." And even Sir Paul McCartney thinks it belongs there.

That X-rated track -- which features the lyric "**** you I won't do what you tell me" -- became the United Kingdom's No. 1 Christmas single on Sunday, outselling its closest rival, a saccharine number from a reality TV star, by 50,000 copies. So why did the British public put an obscenity-filled, almost 20-year-old rant at the top of the holiday pop chart? Like millions of TV viewers, they wanted to bring Simon Cowell down a notch or two.

For the past four years, the winners of the Cowell-produced talent show "The X Factor" (think "American Idol," but with mild-mannered contestants) have claimed the Christmas No. 1 spot, earning Cowell an unseemly heap of cash. It was widely assumed that the program's latest sensation, 18-year-old Joe McElderry, would also top the charts with his debut single, a tepid cover of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb."

Many music-loving Britons, however, weren't happy with the idea of another Cowell coup. The nation has been oddly obsessed with the Christmas pop race for decades: Brits buy more singles in December than any other month; debate the merits of competing acts in the playground, pub and workplace; and place millions of dollars of bets on the outcome of the Yuletide chart. But since "The X Factor" can unite 20 million viewers behind its winning artist, virtually guaranteeing that person a No. 1, other pop stars have stopped releasing tracks over the Christmas period, killing the festive fight.
In an attempt to bring some of that old Xmas excitement back to the charts, Jon Morter, a 35-year-old hi-fi technician from east England, and his photographer wife, Tracy, 30, set up a Facebook group encouraging disgruntled music lovers to protest "X Factor monotony" by buying "Killing in the Name." "It's a rallying cry," Jon told music magazine NME in early December, adding that the song's anti-authoritarian lyrics have "been taken on by thousands in the group as a defiance of Simon Cowell's music machine."

This wasn't the Morters first try at breaking the pop mogul's chart stranglehold. In 2008 they attempted to persuade Brits to download Rick Astley's '80s hit "Never Gonna Give You Up" instead of "Hallelujah" by "X Factor" winner Alexandra Burke. That scheme failed, possibly because the Astley song is, well, terrible. Realizing their mistake, this year the pair plumped for a more obvious protest song that would grab the attention of the British media, and earn them hundreds of thousands of supporters on Facebook and Twitter.

Cowell wasn't impressed with this popular uprising. "Why not let [McElderry] have his moment?" he said. "It's all very Scrooge. It's miserable to put down young talent. We should celebrate it." The teen singer was similarly negative about his metal rivals. "It's dreadful and I hate it," said McElderry. "How could anyone enjoy this? Can you imagine the grandmas hearing this over Christmas lunch?"

While "Killing in the Name" was never going to get the gray vote, it did win one aging rocker's backing. Although he'd performed alongside McElderry on "The X Factor" just a few days earlier, ex-Beatle McCartney told Sky News in mid-December that, "it would be kind of funny if Rage Against the Machine got it, because it would prove a point." Many more agreed: Rage's track shifted 500,000 copies last week. McElderry managed just 450,000.

And while he might have a reputation for arrogance, Cowell was humble in defeat. He phoned the Morters and congratulated them on their "genuinely impressive" campaign. Jon Morter told the Daily Mirror newspaper that Cowell "was very nice, really nice to talk to. ... He wished us well and also said it was probably the best Christmas No. 1 race that he has been involved with." Having a fine eye for talent, Cowell also offered the pair jobs at his record label. They have yet to reply.

Rage Against the Machine, who have pledged to pass any profits to British homelessness charity Shelter, could have used a little of Cowell's modesty in their winner's speech. "This is a huge victory by and for fans of real music, and we extend our heartfelt thanks to every fan and freedom fighter who helped make our anthem of defiance and rebellion the Anarchy Christmas Miracle of 2009," the band declared in a statement.

While the group might think this is a triumph for the little guy over the corporate music machine, in fact there was only one real winner: record label Sony BMG, which released both tracks.